Book I · The Heartbreak Canon
You've Dated
This Person.
Now Laugh About It.
25 real relationships. 7½ hours. Every red flag you ever ignored — named, dissected, and narrated with unflinching honesty by Deacon Deane.
Listen to a sample
Narrated by Deacon Deane
Instant access via email · Stream anywhere · No app · No DRM · No subscription
About the Audiobook
You've dated at least one of these.
A queer memoir in 25 chapters. Each one named after a type of person you've probably loved — or dated — or, honestly, become. Dark, funny, and dangerously recognizable.
+ 17 more chapters · epilogue · bonus content
Reader Reviews
What readers say
"This book had me CACKLING on public transport. Aleks doesn't just tell dating horror stories — they give you the tools to recognize red flags before you're knee-deep in chaos. Essential reading."
Sarah M. — Verified Amazon Review
"The audiobook is INCREDIBLE. Laughing at their own chaos is chef's kiss. Perfect for commutes, workouts, or whenever you need a reminder you're not the only one who's dated absolute disasters."
Jamie K. — Verified Amazon Review
"Aleks writes like your brutally honest best friend after three drinks and no filter. Every chapter had me thinking 'OH MY GOD I DATED THIS PERSON TOO.' Therapeutic and hilarious in equal measure."
Riley T. — Verified Amazon Review
What's Inside
7 hours, 30 minutes of this
27 chapters named after the person who caused the damage
No anonymous "He said, she said." Every archetype is named, identified, and dissected with sharp wit.
Bonus chapter: The Straight
Yes, that chapter. The one that changes the shape of everything that came before it.
No app. No subscription. No platform lock-in.
Your unique link arrives by email instantly. Stream from any device, forever. Your purchase is yours.
Good for a commute. Great for a breakdown.
iPhone, Android, any browser. No headphones required to feel seen.
How it works
Purchase
Secure checkout via Stripe. All major cards accepted. Takes 30 seconds.
Check Your Email
Your unique listening link arrives instantly. No account, no download needed.
Listen Anywhere
iPhone, Android, computer. No app. No subscription. Start immediately.
Get the Audiobook
Instant access. Stream anytime via your personalized link.
The Worst Boyfriends Ever
Unabridged Audiobook · Narrated by Deacon Deane
- 7 hours, 30 minutes — full unabridged
- 25 chapters + bonus chapter + epilogue
- Stream on any device — no app required
- Instant access via email
- No DRM. No subscription. Yours forever.
Secure checkout via Stripe · All major cards accepted
How do I receive the audiobook?
After purchase, you'll receive an email with your unique listening link. Click it to start streaming immediately — no account or download required.
Do I need an app or subscription?
No app, no subscription, no platform. Stream directly in any browser on any device. Your link works forever.
What if I lose my email?
Email hello@aleksfilmore.com with your purchase email and we'll resend your link within 24 hours.
Is there a physical copy option?
Yes — a signed paperback + audiobook bundle is available in the shop.