Queer love, aftermath, and the psychology of staying too long.
Aleks Filmore writes about the patterns we repeat long after we recognize them, the boundaries we negotiate too late, and the work of rebuilding once the story is already over.
"When the drama ends but your nervous system keeps talking."
When the drama ends but your nervous system keeps talking.
Terms of Living is a memoir-in-essays about aftermath. A relationship ends cleanly on paper, and the body keeps living inside the echo.
Set in a coastal town and written from close range, the book follows the days after the break: the stunned quiet, the dull hours, the compulsions that replace conversation, and the private courtroom the mind builds when nobody hands you an ending you can hold. Alongside the personal narrative runs cultural and philosophical commentary on modern love, polite exits, and the industries that translate ache into content, products, and “growth.”
The governing idea is accuracy, not therapy. The self as a system with defaults, habits, and faulty readings that become visible under pressure. What changes over the five movements is not a mood. It’s authority: what gets to run the day, what stops running it, and what remains when the noise finally loses its job.
Five Movements
A three-book arc through the wreckage of modern love
From the patterns we recognize to the accountability we resist, these books trace the full journey.
The Worst Boyfriends Ever
Breaks the illusion
A memoir in dating disasters that exposes the patterns we mistake for love.
Terms of Living
Reorganizes the aftermath
Essays about what lingers when relationships end but your nervous system keeps talking.
Am I the Red Flag?
Interrogates accountability
The uncomfortable questions we avoid asking ourselves about our own patterns.
5-STAR REVIEWS
"This book had me CACKLING on public transport. Aleks doesn't just tell dating horror stories: he gives you the tools to recognize red flags before you're knee-deep in chaos."
"Finally, a queer dating memoir that doesn't sugarcoat anything! Aleks writes with the perfect blend of humor and wisdom."
"The audiobook is INCREDIBLE. Perfect for commutes, workouts, or whenever you need a reminder that you're not the only one who's dated absolute disasters."
Essays & Notes
Why the Internet Keeps Promising Your Ex Is Coming Back
Prophecy is the cheapest comfort to manufacture
Love After Propaganda
Grand gestures feel like slogans when you grow up under propaganda; love has to arrive honest, slow, and without a campaign.
We Don't Break Up Anymore. We Decommission Each Other.
How modern breakups get rebranded as decommissions—polite language masking clean, decisive exits.